Categories: RHM News

Separation Anxiety in Children

Separation Anxiety in Children: What to do as a Montessorian?

Separation anxiety is a common and normal fear of being away from their parents. The behavior you might see when children are separated from parents or care-givers is sometimes called ‘separation protest’.

Separation anxiety can be seen in infants and toddlers. Young children often experience a period of this emotion, but most children outgrow this around 3 years of age. In some children, separation anxiety may continue for longer periods. How we deal with these anxities can help out children.

These anxieties are a normal part of development. Children are starting to move around more at this stage and see major differences to their typical hom routines. Going to school is a great change for children, but often do not feel comfortable because of the change. After a couple weeks, though, they’ll get it and relax.

You can help your child overcome this transition stage by gently encouraging them to gain independence.

How do the parents help with separation anxiety of their child before entering school?

Send children to a relatives’ home or to join some small groups for play time, give children the opportunity to practice separation from their parents.
Arrange eating and rest time as similar as the school: All kinds of delicacies at home can be eaten freely and at any time. In order for the children to adapt to the school, try to follow their routine. Before school starts, try to let the children go to bed early and get up early, take a nap on time.
Give children an advice about going to school: Before going to school, tell children from time to time that school is about to start and the type of environment friends they will make.
Give children a school dream: Talk about some fun activities that children will do at school, such as having a splash pool, play with sand, jump on tapeline, and teachers will like him/her, he/she will make friends at school.
Read books or make up stories with your child about separation fears – for example, ‘Once upon a time, there was a little bunny who didn’t want to leave his mummy. He was afraid of what he might find outside his burrow …’ this might help your child feel he’s not alone in being afraid of separating from his parents.

What do the parents do when entering the school?

Let your child take something she loves from home, like a teddy bear, pillow or blanket. These objects will help your child feel safer. You can gradually phase them out as she feels more settled in the new place.
Settle your child in an enjoyable activity before you leave. Say ‘good-bye, I love you and I will pick you up in the afternoon’ to your child briefly – don’t drag it out. Let children know when you’re leaving and when you’ll be back. This is helpful. Sneaking out without saying good-bye can make things worse. Your child might feel confused or upset when he realizes you’re not around and might be harder to settle the next time you leave him/ her.
Make a conscious effort to foster your child’s self-esteem by giving her lots of positive attention when she’s brave about being away from you. No matter how frustrated you feel, avoid criticizing or being negative about your child’s difficulty with separation.

From the family environment to the collective life, the huge changes make children inevitably unsuitable and anxious. The children are better able to adapt to group life in the environment of their peers, and their physical and mental will be developed. Parents can actively seek the cooperation to establish a connection between the family and the school, and together help children get rid of the negative effects of “school anxiety” as soon as possible. Parents should adjust their journey of constant letting go, and believe that teacher love is a professional company that does not exceed authority.