Mindfulness in Montessori

Do you ever wonder what you did during the day, aside from managing tantrums and cleaning up messes, as a parent?

Many adults go through their days not being fully present (mentally or emotionally) with their children. This makes it easy for the brain to become stuck in a state of stress. Not only is stress bad for your mind and body, but it also prevents you from being the best parent you can be.

Mindfulness is the answer. Mindfulness allows us to pause the mental, emotional, and physical stress responses.

What does being a mindful parent or teacher entail?

“The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something” is what mindfulness refers to in general. (dictionary.com) It involves pausing in the middle of a busy day to declare, “I want to be conscious and aware of how I am parenting.” Mindful parenting, according to Mindfulness.org, entails:

• When you’re having a disagreement with your child, be aware of your own sentiments.
• Learning to take a breather before reacting angrily.
• Even if you disagree with a child’s point of view, you should pay attention to it.

These ideas open the door to a wide range of interactions with our children. As a parent of a one-year-old and a three-year-old,  both challenged and pleased when we concentrate on numbers 1 and 2.

It is much simpler for us to manage our  anger when we pause before responding in anger. Allowing us to focus on listening to my child’s point of view and responding with patience and problem-solving.

Observing ourselves and our children is an important aspect of Montessori. We can often begin to understand the triggers and small episodes that start the process of when things get tense. We can occasionally take affirmative action BEFORE the problem becomes full-blown if we learn to discern the beginning of things.

The first step is to pause and take a deep breath.

Take a few leisurely breaths in and out of your mouth right now, as you’re reading, stretching the exhale specifically for as long as you can. Assume you’re attempting to slide a feather across a table in front of you with each exhalation). The more you can quiet your body through breathing, the more present and tranquil you will be psychologically and emotionally.

Forbes reports that “Controlled breathing may be the most effective tool we have for stopping our brains from keeping us stressed and avoiding the damage that high stress levels inflict. The relaxation reaction is a natural mechanism for the body to manage stress.”

We also know that when we are anxious, the rational and creative parts of our brain are hijacked, preventing us from being cognitively present, logical, and creative parents.

“Analysis revealed that mindful parents engaged in more positive and less negative parenting behavior, which was associated with greater positive conduct in their children—meaning less anxiety, despair, and acting out.”

We can better focus on what our child needs and feel less overwhelmed if we take time to halt and relax ourselves.

We can follow the child if we take the effort to be observant.

“Follow the child, they will show you what they need to do, what they need to develop in themselves and what area they need to be challenged in. The aim of the children who persevere in their work with an object is certainly not to “learn”; they are drawn to it by the needs of their inner life, which must be recognized and developed by its means.” – Maria Montessori

Maria Montessori’s teaching technique is distinguished by her extensive observation of children. As well the creation of a learning environment and educational resources based on what she found the children to be interested in.

She was as attentive to the needs of children as one could possibly be. We feel her attentiveness contributed to her enjoyment of the youngsters as well.  Let us be present (both mentally and emotionally) so that we can use Montessori principles with the children we love.

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